RemoteControl

1、5. Remote Control 1、Recently the Washington Post printed an article explaining how the appliance manufacturers plan to drive consumers insane.最近華盛頓郵報刊登了一篇文章，解釋家用電器制造商是如何謀劃把消費者逼瘋的。 2、Of course they dont say they want to drive us insane. What they say they want to do is have us live in homes where “al

2、l appliances are on the Internet, sharing information”and appliances will be “smarter than most of their owners.” For example, the article states, you could have a home where the dishwasher “can be turned on from the office”and the refrigerator “knows when its out of milk” and the bathroom scale “tr

3、ansmits your weight to the gym.”當(dāng)然制造商們并沒有說他們想把我們逼瘋，他們說他們想做的是讓我們生活在“所有電器通過互聯(lián)網(wǎng)實現(xiàn)信息共享”的住宅里。而這些電器比“大多數(shù)主人聰明得多”。例如，文章說到你可以擁有這樣一個家：洗碗機(jī)“可以從你辦公室啟動”、電冰箱“知道何時牛奶喝完了”、浴室磅秤可以“把你的體重傳送到健身房”。 3. I frankly wonder whether the appliance manufacturers, with all due respect, have been smoking crack. I mean, did they ever

4、 stop to ask themselves why a consumer, after loading a dishwasher, would go to the office to start it? Would there be some kind of career benefit?恕我直言，我滿懷敬意地想知道電器制造商們是不是暈了頭。我的意思是他們是否該停下來問問自己：為什么消費者把碗碟放進(jìn)洗碗機(jī)后，要跑到辦公室去啟動它？難道這樣可以在職場上獲益嗎？ YOUR BOSS: What are you doing? 老板：你在干什么？ YOU ( tapping computer ke

5、yboard ): Im starting my dishwasher! 你（敲打鍵盤）：我正在啟動我家的洗碗機(jī)！ YOUR BOSS: Thats the kind of productivity we need around here! 老板：這恰恰是我們這兒需要的工作效率。 YOU: Now Im flushing the upstairs toilet! 你：我現(xiàn)在就沖洗樓上廁所！ 4. Listen, appliance manufacturers: We dont need a dishwasher that we can communicate with from afar. I

6、f you want to improve our dishwashers, give us one that senses when people leave dirty dishes on the kitchen counter, and shouts at them: “Put those dishes in the dishwasher right now or Ill leak all over your shoes!”電器制造商們聽好：我們不需要從遠(yuǎn)處來啟動洗碗機(jī)。如果你想改進(jìn)洗碗機(jī)，那就給我們這樣一臺：當(dāng)人們把臟碗放在碗柜上時，洗碗機(jī)能夠感應(yīng)并且大聲沖人喊：“立刻把碗放進(jìn)來，不然

7、我就會漏水把你鞋子弄濕！” 5. Likewise, we dont need a refrigerator that knows when its out of milk. We alrealy have a foolproof system for determining if were out of milk. We ask our wife. What we could use is a refrigerator that refuses to let us open its door when it senses that we are about to consume our fo

8、urth Jell-O Pudding Snack in two hours. 同樣，我們也不需要電冰箱知道什么時候沒有牛奶。我們已經(jīng)有了一個傻瓜也明白的萬無一失的方法來確定牛奶是否喝完：我們可以問一下妻子。我們需要的是這樣一臺電冰箱：當(dāng)它意識到我們要在兩小時內(nèi)就要把第四個吉露果子凍布丁吃完時，冰箱門就再也打不開了。 6. As for a scale that transmits our weight to the gym: Are they nuts? We dont want our weight transmitted to our own eyeballs! What if the

9、gym decided to transmit our weight to all these other appliances on the Internet? What if, God forbid, our refrigerator found out what our weight was! Wed never get the door open again!至于可以把我們的體重傳送到健身房的磅秤：這是不是瘋了？我們自己都不想看到自己的體重！如果健身房決定把我們的體重傳給網(wǎng)上的其他電器怎么辦？要是電冰箱知道我們的體重會怎么樣呢？但愿不會如此。否則，我們將再也不能打開冰箱門了！ 7. B

10、ut here is what really concerns me about these new “smart” appliances:Even if we like the features, we wont be able to use them. We cant use the appliance features we have now. I have a feature-packed telephone with 43 buttons, at least 20 of which I am afraid to touch. This phone probably can commu

11、nicate with the dead, but I dont know to operate it, just as I dont know how to operate my TV, which requires three remote controls. One control (44 buttons ) came with the TV; a second (39 buttons )came with the VCR; the third (37 buttons ) was brought here by the cable man, who apparently felt tha

12、t I did not have enough buttons. 但是對于這些新型的“智能”電器，我真正關(guān)心的是：即使我們喜歡這些功能，我們也無法使用它們。甚至現(xiàn)在電器已有的功能我們也不會使用。我有一部功能齊全的電話機(jī)，上面有43個鍵，但至少有20個功能健我是不敢碰的。這部電話或許可以與死人交流，我卻不知如何使用。這就如同我不知道怎樣操縱我的電視一樣，它需要3個遙控器。其中一個遙控器（有44個功能鍵）與電視機(jī)相連，另一個（有39個功能鍵）與錄像機(jī)配套；再一個（有37個功能鍵）是有線電視管理員帶來的，顯然他覺得我的遙控器的功能鍵還不夠多。 8. So when I want to watch T

13、V, Im confronted with a total of 120 buttons, identified by such helpful labels as PIP , MTS, DBS, FZ, JUMP and BLANK. There are three buttons labeled POWER, but there are times-especially if my son and his friends, who are not afraid of features, have changed the settings-when I honestly cannot fig

14、ure out how to turn the TV on. I stand there, holding three remote controls, pressing buttons at random, until eventually I give up and go turn on the dishwasher. It has been, literally, years since I have successfully recorded a TV show. That is how “smart”my appliances have become. 所以當(dāng)我想看電視時，我面對的是

15、120個功能鍵。通過諸多PIP、MTS、DBS、FZ、JUMP、BLANK等有用的標(biāo)簽來識別它們的功能。其中3個功能鍵的標(biāo)簽都是POWER。但有些時候尤其是如果我兒子和他的朋友們他們都不害怕破壞原有的功能改變了設(shè)置，我真不知道該如何打開電視機(jī)。我站在那兒，手中握著3個遙控器胡亂地按著，直到最終放棄轉(zhuǎn)而去開洗碗機(jī)。毫不夸張地說，我花了幾年的工夫才學(xué)會了錄制電視節(jié)目。我的電器就“智能”到了這種程度。 9. And now the appliance manfacturers want to give us even more features.Do you know what this means

16、? It means that some night youll open the door of your “smart” refrigerator, looking for a beer, and youll hear a pleasant, cheerful voice-recorded by the same woman who informs you that Your Call Is Important when you call a business that does not wish to speak with you persinally-telling you: Your

17、 celery is Limp.” You will not know who else your refrigerator knows this, and, what is worse, you will not know how your refrigerator is telling about it ( Hey, Bob! I hear your celery is limp!” ). And, if you want to try to make the refrigerator stop, youll have to decipher Owners Manual instructi

18、ons written by and for nuclear physicists (“To disable the Produce Crispness Monitoring feature, enter the Command Mode, then elect the Edit function, then select Change Vegetable Defaults, then assume that Train A leaves Chicago traveling westbound at 47 mph, while Train B.” 現(xiàn)在電器制造商們想給我們提供更多電器功能。你知道這意味著什么嗎？這意味著某天晚上你打開你那“智能”的電冰箱尋找一瓶啤酒時，你會聽到甜甜美而討人喜歡的聲音美而討人喜歡的聲音，“您的芹菜發(fā)蔫了”。當(dāng)你致電一個商家，而對方又不想和你直接交談時，你會聽到一個相同的錄音女聲告訴你：“這個電話很重要”。你不知道電冰箱是如何知道這些的。更糟糕的是，你不知道電冰箱把這句話告訴了別的什么人。（“嘿：鮑勃！聽說你的芹菜發(fā)蔫了！”）如果你想讓你的冰箱停下來，你不得不被破譯由核物理學(xué)家編寫的用戶使用手冊指南。（“取消產(chǎn)品保鮮監(jiān)控功能：進(jìn)入命令模式，然后選擇編輯功能，再選擇變化蔬菜默認(rèn)值，然后假設(shè)火