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Unit8 課文翻譯課文AReflections of a Chinese mother in the West一位西方華裔母親的思考1. 很多人想了解中國(guó)父母是如何培養(yǎng)出如此成功的孩子的。他們想知道,為什么這些中國(guó)父母能養(yǎng)育出那么多天分極佳的孩子,他們是否也能培養(yǎng)出這樣的孩子呢?2. 事實(shí)是,中國(guó)父母的做法,對(duì)固執(zhí)己見的西方人來說,令人憤慨,難以想象,甚至是違法的。中國(guó)母親可以不客氣地對(duì)正在狼吞虎咽的肥胖孩子說:“喂,小胖子,你要減肥了?!迸c此相反,西方父母必須體諒地、小心翼翼而拐彎抹角地談及“健康”,而且永遠(yuǎn)都不會(huì)提及“胖”字。結(jié)果,孩子還是因?yàn)轱嬍澄蓙y和消極的自我評(píng)價(jià)得去求醫(yī)問藥。長(zhǎng)期以來我一直苦思冥想,中國(guó)父母這樣做是如何能夠全身而退的,我認(rèn)為中西方的父母之間存在三種意識(shí)形態(tài)上的差異。3. 首先,我注意到西方父母呵護(hù)子女的自尊,使他們免受一切批評(píng)。他們擔(dān)心孩子失敗后的感受,于是不斷盡其所能解除子女的憂慮,而不管其表現(xiàn)如何糟糕。西方父母認(rèn)為孩子是嬌弱的,不夠堅(jiān)強(qiáng),因此他們的行為也就與中國(guó)父母大相徑庭了。4. 舉個(gè)例子,如果一個(gè)孩子考試得了個(gè) A回家,西方父母很可能會(huì)表?yè)P(yáng)孩子。而對(duì)中國(guó)母親來說, A根本不算什么好成績(jī);她還會(huì)不快地嘆氣,問到底出了什么問題。如果孩子得了 B 回家,一些西方父母盡管十分不情愿,仍然會(huì)表?yè)P(yáng)孩子。其他西方父母會(huì)表達(dá)出不滿,但不會(huì)質(zhì)疑孩子的智力,或貿(mào)然說孩子“笨蛋”、“一文不值”或“太可惡了”。而私下里,西方父母可能會(huì)感到擔(dān)心,但絕不會(huì)讓孩子們知道。5. 如果中國(guó)孩子得了 B,不管什么科目,首先面臨的就是一聲尖叫和惱怒的爆發(fā)。中國(guó)母親會(huì)更加不遺余力地找來幾十也許幾百套的測(cè)驗(yàn)題,不惜采取手頭任何辦法來讓自己孩子的成績(jī)提高到 A。6. 中國(guó)父母要求完美的成績(jī),因?yàn)樗麄兝硭?dāng)然地認(rèn)為孩子完全可以做到,而且分?jǐn)?shù)是比“自尊”更為重要的衡量成功的標(biāo)準(zhǔn)。如果孩子沒拿到全 A,中國(guó)父母就認(rèn)為這是因?yàn)楹⒆硬粔蚺?。這就是為什么對(duì)表現(xiàn)欠佳的孩子,父母總是會(huì)施以懲罰和辱罵。中國(guó)家長(zhǎng)相信孩子足夠堅(jiān)強(qiáng),能夠承受羞辱,并會(huì)由此進(jìn)步。7. 其次,中國(guó)父母認(rèn)為孩子欠他們一切。這種看法的原因尚不清楚,也許是儒家“忠”的信條,再加上父母為子女犧牲諸多這一事實(shí)。因此,中國(guó)孩子必須聽從父母教導(dǎo),使他們自豪,終其一生回報(bào)他們。8. 中西方理念碰撞的另一領(lǐng)域是,西方人大多認(rèn)為子女無須永遠(yuǎn)感激父母。我丈夫是個(gè)西方人,實(shí)際上就持有這種相反觀點(diǎn)?!昂⒆佑植荒苓x擇自己的父母,”他曾對(duì)我說過?!八麄冞B要不要出生都沒法選擇,是父母強(qiáng)行給了他們生命,所以父母有責(zé)任撫養(yǎng)他們。孩子一點(diǎn)都不欠父母的,他們只對(duì)自己的子女負(fù)責(zé)任?!边@話讓我覺得西方父母受到的待遇真差。9. 第三,中國(guó)父母相信他們知道什么最適合自己的孩子,因此對(duì)子女的愿望和喜好有著至高無上的權(quán)威。中國(guó)孩子沒有什么父母不能侵犯的權(quán)利,所以中國(guó)女孩兒在高中不能交男朋友,孩子們不能晚回家,不能參加在外過夜的野營(yíng)旅行。哪怕一丁點(diǎn)的反抗或憤慨,只要不是絕對(duì)地服從,都會(huì)被根除,直至壓服。不要誤會(huì)我這并非中國(guó)父母不關(guān)心孩子,事實(shí)恰恰相反!中國(guó)父母放棄了他們一切的一切,來幫助自己的子女。這只是教育模式完全不同而已。10. 西方的宣傳往往把亞洲母親描繪為工于心計(jì)、冷漠無情,還喜歡動(dòng)武,而對(duì)孩子的真正興趣不管不顧。對(duì)許多中國(guó)人來說,他們私下里都認(rèn)為自己比西方人更關(guān)心孩子,而且愿意為他們犧牲更多,而西方人似乎都樂見孩子變壞、有辱家風(fēng)。我想雙方都有誤解。當(dāng)然也有部分共同之處普天下稱職的父母都想為孩子做最好的安排,只是方式方法不同而已。11. 西方人宣揚(yáng)尊重孩子的個(gè)性,鼓勵(lì)他們?nèi)プ非笳嬲募で?,支持他們的選擇,并提供積極有益的環(huán)境。但西方孩子在自視甚高、自尊極強(qiáng)的同時(shí),在現(xiàn)實(shí)世界又會(huì)表現(xiàn)如何?中國(guó)父母如此磨礪子女為將來計(jì),讓其了解自己的所能,并賦予他們技能、工作習(xí)慣和內(nèi)在信心這些沒人能拿走的東西,這樣來對(duì)孩子進(jìn)行保護(hù)。到表現(xiàn)時(shí)機(jī)來臨時(shí),中國(guó)孩子已經(jīng)成竹在胸;他們知道該如何利用自己在這個(gè)世界上所能學(xué)到的最好的本事去競(jìng)爭(zhēng)。“布丁”好壞,一試便知!課文BA Western mothers response一位西方母親的回應(yīng)In the days since the newspaper published the column by the Chinese mother, I have thought of what I would say to her if I met her. I might point out, as others have, that Asian-American girls aged 15 to 24 have above average rates of suicide and eating disorders. I might question the arrogance of ascribing her childs success to the Chinese child-rearing techniques of criticism and name-calling when it could just as likely have resulted from genetic or economic blessings. But I have a feeling that she knows that.報(bào)紙上刊登出一位中國(guó)母親的專欄之后的幾天中,我曾經(jīng)想過,要是能碰到她,我會(huì)對(duì)她說些什么。我也許會(huì)像其他人一樣指出,15 歲至 24 歲的亞裔美國(guó)女孩自殺和飲食失調(diào)的比例高于平均值。我也許會(huì)質(zhì)疑她把自己孩子的成功歸結(jié)于中國(guó)式批評(píng)和謾罵的養(yǎng)育技巧,這種想法實(shí)在傲慢,孩子的成功可能只是源于良好的遺傳基因或經(jīng)濟(jì)條件。不過,我覺得這點(diǎn)她是知道的。More importantly, if I did make such contentions, Id risk being called a liar by my own children. Sophie, my oldest, would remind me of the recent evening when I stared in stony silence at her report card, sniffing in contempt at her fathers happy congratulations.更重要的是,如果我確實(shí)持此觀點(diǎn),就得冒著被自己孩子說成騙子的風(fēng)險(xiǎn)。索菲,我的長(zhǎng)女,會(huì)提醒我就在不久前的一個(gè)晚上,我盯著她的成績(jī)單一言不發(fā),毫無表情,并對(duì)她父親高興的祝賀嗤之以鼻。What? she said. I got 5 solid As.“怎么了?”她說?!拔铱墒堑昧?5 個(gè) A 啊?!盜 shrugged.我聳聳肩。Come on, my husband complained.“別這樣,”我丈夫抱怨道。My daughter narrowed her eyes at me. She knew what was coming.女兒瞇起眼睛看我,她知道接下來會(huì)發(fā)生什么。I pointed at the remaining three grades, sociology, biochemistry and intermediate aesthetics, none a solid A. I certainly didnt think it warranted the screaming, hair-tearing explosion that the author informs us would have greeted the daughter of a Chinese mother. However, I articulated my displeasure clearly enough. The word garbage was not uttered. But, it was only because I feared my husbands reproach that I refrained from telling my own daughter, when she collapsed in tears, that she was acting like an idiot.我指著余下的三門課的成績(jī),社會(huì)學(xué)、生物化學(xué)和中級(jí)美學(xué),沒有一個(gè)是 A。我當(dāng)然不認(rèn)為對(duì)此應(yīng)該“尖叫和惱怒地爆發(fā)”,就像作者說的中國(guó)媽媽對(duì)待女兒的那樣。不過,我也足夠清晰地表達(dá)了自己的不滿,只是沒說“垃圾”這個(gè)詞。她痛哭失聲,我忍住了沒說她像個(gè)白癡,但那也只是因?yàn)槲覔?dān)心丈夫的責(zé)備而已。The difference, I suppose, between proud Chinese mothers and Western ones is that I felt ashamed that I didnt subordinate my anger to my pride in what she did accomplish. Admittedly (and I am ashamed to say this too), I also did not then go out and get hundreds of practice tests and work through them with my daughter far into the night, doing whatever it took to get her the A. I would leave those tasks for a tutor to administer.自負(fù)的中國(guó)母親與西方母親之間的差異,我覺得,在于我很羞愧自己并未對(duì)女兒取得的成績(jī)感到自豪,而是任由自己的怒氣發(fā)泄。誠(chéng)然(對(duì)此我也很慚愧),我之后也并沒有去找數(shù)百套的測(cè)驗(yàn)題,然后與女兒一起做題到深夜,千方百計(jì)讓她拿到 A。我會(huì)把那些工作留給家教來做。I am, actually, grateful to the author, and for the insights she gave me. Reading her essay definitely put some Chinese iron into my Western spine, and though I eventually apologized to my daughter for failing to acknowledge, right off the bat, all those tough classes last semester in which she had done phenomenally well, and for expressing my disappointment at the others too vigorously, I have also vowed that she will clamp down on those three subjects in which she is underperforming. Her father and I are unanimous in this.其實(shí),我很感謝作者,感謝她讓我增長(zhǎng)了見識(shí)。讀她的文章確實(shí)讓我這西方的頭腦融入了一些中國(guó)元素,盡管我最終向女兒道了歉,因?yàn)槲覜]有一開始就認(rèn)可上學(xué)期她在那些很難的課程上所取得的異常優(yōu)秀的成績(jī),并對(duì)其他課程表示了過于強(qiáng)烈的失望,但我也立誓要幫她攻克成績(jī)不夠好的三門課。對(duì)此她父親和我看法是一致的。But Chinese methods, I think, do still need some scrutiny. My daughter Rosie is mildly dyslexic, a learning difficulty that means she automatically reads words backward. By the time the psychiatrist diagnosed her, in second grade, she was lagging far behind her classmates. For years I forced her to spell words in the bathtub with foam letters, to do worksheets, to subdivide words into sounds and take practice tests. My criticism and forced rehearsing was redundant, it turns out - inside, she was all ready to punish herself, and I was only prolonging her misery and shattering her confidence. Eventually, and totally out of character, she even stopped loving school. She lost her sparkle. She started to suffer from constant stomachaches and broke down in tears almost every day. At last we heard about a reading program where students spent four hours every day in a small room under a supervisor with a specialization in dyslexia, drilling in letters and sight words. It sounded awful, but Rosie insisted on it. She loved books and stories. She wanted to read.但中國(guó)的方法,我認(rèn)為,確實(shí)仍然需要推敲。我女兒羅西有輕度閱讀障礙,她會(huì)不由自主地逆讀,這是她讀二年級(jí)時(shí)精神科醫(yī)生診斷出來的,那時(shí)她已經(jīng)遠(yuǎn)遠(yuǎn)落后于她的同學(xué)。多年來,我強(qiáng)迫她在浴缸里用泡沫塑料字母拼寫單詞,做活頁(yè)練習(xí),把單詞細(xì)分為讀音,做各種練習(xí)測(cè)試。我批評(píng)她以及強(qiáng)迫她不斷練習(xí)是多余的,原來在她內(nèi)心,她早已準(zhǔn)備好懲罰自己,我只不過是在延長(zhǎng)她的痛苦,粉碎她的信心。最后,她甚至不再愛上學(xué)了,這與她的性格全不相符。她失去了活力,開始不斷地肚子難受,幾乎每天都會(huì)流淚痛哭。后來,我們聽說有一個(gè)閱讀課程,學(xué)生在專攻閱讀困難的專家的引導(dǎo)下,每天在小房間里花四個(gè)小時(shí)進(jìn)行字母和常見單詞練習(xí)。這聽起來很可怕,但羅西執(zhí)意要去。她喜歡書籍和小說,她想要閱讀。Every day when we picked her up, her face would be red with tears, her eyes hollow and exhausted. Every day we asked her if she wanted to quit. Neither her father nor I wanted to make a unilateral decision when she was the one who suffered, so we asked her. But every day she returned to the trenches, her little shoulders bent under the weight of her struggle. Rosie has a process she follows when shes scared - Overcome your fears, she whispers to herself. I dont know where she learned it. Maybe from one of those television shows I shouldnt let her watch.每天我們?nèi)ソ铀龝r(shí),她的臉總是紅紅的,滿是淚水,兩眼無神,疲憊不堪。我們每天都問她,要不要退出。無論是她父親還是我都不想單方面替她作出決定,因?yàn)樗攀窃馐芡纯嗟娜?,所以我們問她的意見。而每天,她都回到課程訓(xùn)練現(xiàn)場(chǎng),掙扎于重壓之下,她的小肩膀都彎了。每當(dāng)害怕的時(shí)候,羅西有一套自己的辦法她會(huì)對(duì)自己輕聲說“要戰(zhàn)勝恐懼”。我不知道她是從哪里學(xué)來的,也許是某個(gè)我不該讓她看的電視節(jié)目。At the end of a grim and brutal month, Rosie learned to read. Not because we sat like watchdogs and forced her to drill and practice and repeat, not because we dragged her kicking and screaming, or denied her food, or kept her from using the bathroom, but because she forced herself. Because of this, she emerged with a conception of herself as a powerful, versatile person.在一個(gè)月嚴(yán)厲苛刻的學(xué)習(xí)結(jié)束時(shí),羅西掌握了閱讀。這不是因?yàn)槲覀兿窨词厮频囟⒅瑥?qiáng)迫她練習(xí)、實(shí)踐和重復(fù),也不是因?yàn)槲覀冏е痔哂纸校蛘卟唤o她飯吃,不讓她上廁所,而是因?yàn)樗约罕浦约簩W(xué)。正因?yàn)槿绱耍_始意識(shí)到自己是一個(gè)意志堅(jiān)強(qiáng)、多才多藝的人。I have a feeling when Chinese children are underdeveloped or suffer from
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