讀后續(xù)寫之“脫險類”主題

脫險類讀后續(xù)寫中會遇到描寫森林迷路、地震、水災、火災等內(nèi)容的故事，如果涉及到對生命造成一定威脅的情節(jié)，我們就把這類文章歸為“脫險型”。在近年高考真題中，如2023年浙江卷1月蜂鳥脫困；2020年浙江卷1月遇到北極熊；2018年浙江卷6月森林遇險。如何續(xù)寫好此類文章呢？清代袁枚《隨園詩話》中說過，“文似看山不喜平”，就提出過寫文章好比觀賞山峰那樣，不喜歡平坦，喜歡起伏。而讀后續(xù)寫中，情節(jié)的跌宕起伏就是一種極好的提升文章整體水平的手法。這種轉(zhuǎn)折即由“負”變“正”；或由“正”變“負”。最終體現(xiàn)正能量的結(jié)局，就是由“正”變“負”?！緦懽鞑襟E】一惡略環(huán)境來鋪墊Thewaterwasdeepandrunningfastfromabigrainstormthenightbefore.前天晚上下了一場大暴雨，水又深又急。Thewatertwistedandturnedhim,scrapinghimagainsttherocksashewascarriedalong.Watergushedintohismouthanduphisnose.水流不停地扭動著他，旋轉(zhuǎn)著他，把他蹭在巖石上。水灌進他的嘴里，沒過了他的鼻子。3.What'sworse,hedidn'thaveanyfoodorwaterwithhim,letalonehiscellphoneorothersupplies.更糟糕的是，他沒有任何食物和水，更不要說他的手機和其他日用品。4.Theskyisovercast,darkenedwithgloomyclouds.天空陰沉，烏云密布。Theicywindstartedhowling,stingingmyface.寒風開始咆哮，刺痛了我的臉。Thewindwashowlingandthewavessmackedrepeatedlyagainstherface.風在呼嘯著，海浪不停地拍打著她的臉。Butthen,asIlookedinthedistance,Idiscoveredaseriesofthreeorfourbigwavesheadingtowardstheshore.但后來，當我往遠處看時，我發(fā)現(xiàn)有三四個大浪正在沖向海岸。Itswayedviolentlyinastrongwind.Itsroadwaywasdamagedbyvehicles.Itsaccesswasblockedbymanypeople.它在強風中劇烈搖晃。車輛損壞了道路。許多人堵住了通道。Theangrywavescrashedagainstthesideoftheboat,withwatersplashinghereandthere.憤怒的海浪拍打向船的一側(cè)，水到處飛濺。二心理感受來烘托Anominousthoughtcrossedhismind:I’mgoingtodieuphere.一個不祥的念頭掠過他的腦海：我要死在這了。Lookingatthevastsea,Ifeltasenseoffearsurgingthroughmywholebody.看著浩瀚的大海，我感到一種恐懼感掠過我的全身。Saltstingingmyeyes,IcouldhardlytellhowlongIcouldholdon.鹽刺痛了我的眼睛，我?guī)缀醪恢牢夷軋猿侄嗑谩?.Grief

comesinwaves.悲傷如潮水一般涌來。5.Withapoundingheartandcold,moistpalms,Ifeltfaint.最后一句話像一顆子彈擊中了我的心。Afraidandmerelydesperate,sherushedtowardshim.她害怕而絕望，向他沖去。三外貌神態(tài)來烘托Hearingthebadnews,Mary

frozewithshock,asif

rootedontheground.

聽到這個壞消息，瑪麗嚇得愣住了，好像長在了地上。Tears

blurred

hereyes.淚水模糊了她的雙眼。2.I

sobbedbitterly,tastingthesaltfromthe

tearsthat

streameddown

myface.我痛苦地抽泣著，嘗到臉上流下淚水咸咸的味道。3.Shecalmeddowntokeeptherhymeofbreathingsothatshecouldbreatheevenly.她平靜下來，保持呼吸的韻律，以便能夠均勻地呼吸。4.I

glancedback

overmyshouldertomakesurethatnoonewasfollowing

me.

我回頭瞟了一眼以確保沒有人跟蹤我。四謀篇布局有起伏Ultimately,wewereback,safeandsound.最終，我們又回來了，安然無恙。Wejumpedintothewarmvehicleandtheforesterdroveustotherangerstation,whereweweregivenclothesandwereabletocallourparents.我們跳上了溫暖的車，森林管理員開車把我們送到護林員站，在那里我們得到了衣服，并可以打電話給我們的父母。Suddenlyitoccurredtousthatwecouldkeeptothetracktoguideusback.Butitwasgettingdarkeranddarker,thusmakingitincreasinglydifficultforustomakeouttheroad.突然我們想到我們可以堅持小路引導我們回去。但天色越來越暗，使我們走道路越來越困難。五萬能升華來點睛脫險類的文章有一個萬能的表達“這是一次難忘的經(jīng)歷”。萬能升華1：Thatdaywassounforgettablethatitwouldstayinmymemoryforever.句意：那天是如此難忘，它將永遠留在我的記憶。遇到危險并且最終成功脫險的經(jīng)歷，想必對我們每個人來說一定是一生中難忘的經(jīng)歷。本句中使用了so...that的句式結(jié)構(gòu)：如此......以至于。unforgettable是一個形容詞，表示“無法忘記的”。萬能升華2：Itwasthisuniqueexperiencethatmademeunderstandwhateverdifficultywearefacedwith,wemustn’tgiveupourhope.句意：正是這種獨特的經(jīng)歷讓我明白了我們所面臨的任何困難，我們都不能放棄希望。本句為復合句，運用強調(diào)句itwas...that...、定語從句that...、賓語從句whatever...，屬于高級句式。萬能升華3：Aslongaswedon’tgiveuphopeandmakeeveryefforttoovercomeallthedifficulties,wewillsurelymakeasuccesssoonerorlater.句意：只要我們不放棄希望，不盡一切努力克服一切困難，我們遲早一定會取得成功的。本句是復合句。Aslongas引導狀語從句，且句子運用較多短語如makeasuccess,soonorlater等。萬能升華4：OnlythendidIrealizethatitwasbraverythatcanconquerwhateverdifficultycameintheway.句意：直到那時，我才意識到，正是勇敢才能克服一切困難。遇到危險后，勇敢面對，才能解決問題。這個句子突出了“勇敢”這個核心，這在“脫險型”的故事里，是非常恰當?shù)?。這句話使用了倒裝的結(jié)構(gòu)和強調(diào)結(jié)構(gòu)結(jié)合的方式，也屬于高分亮點句。【最新模擬】（2023年湖南長沙一中?？茧A段練習）閱讀下面材料，根據(jù)其內(nèi)容和所給段落開頭語續(xù)寫兩段，使之構(gòu)成一篇完整的短文。AFootholdinLifeAdozenchildrenranaroundlaughingandplayinginmyfriend’syard,whileweparentssatchattingandsippingcoolsummerdrinks.Thebarbecuehadbeenclearedawaywhenourhostannouncedasurprise.Ahugemovablerockwallwasloadedin,whichwasabouttwelvefeetwide,madeofgraymoldedplasticwithindentedfootholdsthatstretchedstraightupforwhatlookedlikeatleastahundredfeet.Theenthusiastickidsswiftlylineduptogiveitatry,andwiththecompletefearlessnessmostchildrenpossess,scrambledtothetopandrangthebellthathungatthehighestpoint.Therewasn’treallyanythingtobeafraidofsincetheywerebeltedintoplace.Threepeoplecouldclimbsidebysideandtalktoeachother,sograduallytheadultstriedit,too.“Comeon;let’sgogetinline,”myhusbandNeilurged.“No,yougoaheadwithoutme.”Ihadallsortsofgoodexcuses:Idon’thavetherightshoes;Iforgotmysunglasses;Ihavetohelpthehostess.Ihaveauniquetalentforseeingunthinkabledangerinalmosteverysituation,andthissceneseemeddangeroustome.Iwatchedeveryoneelsehavingfun,though,andfinallyconvincedmyselftotryit.WithallthenerveIcouldgather,Istartedtheclimb.Thebeltwrappedaroundmelikeadiapersotherewasnowaytofall.Yes,Ithought,thisisfunandsafe!Concentratingoneachfoothold,Islowlymademywayup.Iavoidedlookingdowntopreventanysuddenpanic,andwithinafewminutesImadeittothetopandproudlyrangthebell.“Woohoo!”mydaughterscalleduptome.“Waytogo,Col!”Neilyelled.IenjoyedmysuccessandtheenjoyableviewoffieldsandfarmlanduntilIrealizedtherewasalinebelowmewaitingforaturn.Itwastimetogodown.注意：1.續(xù)寫詞數(shù)應為150左右；2.請按如下格式在答題卡的相應位置作答。Itwasonethingtolookoutattheworldinthedistance,butitwasawholeotherthingtolookstraightdown.________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Finally,thetwoofusreachedtheground.________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________【答案】Itwasonethingtolookoutattheworldinthedistance,butitwasawholeotherthingtolookstraightdown.Mylegswereshakinguncontrollablyandmygriponthehandholdswasslipping.（細節(jié)描寫）Icouldhearmyfamilycallinguprecommendationstome.Closingmyeyesandtakingadeepbreath,Itriedtocalmmyselfdown.（心理描寫，神態(tài)描寫）Andthen,Ifeltagentlehandonmyback.“It’sokay,”akindvoicesaid.“I’mheretohelpyoudown.”Iturnedtoseeafriendlyface,someoneIhadonlymetbrieflybefore,butwhohadclearlyseenmydistressandcometomyaid.Withhersupport,Iwasabletoclimbdown,slowlybutsurely.Finally,thetwoofusreachedtheground.Iwasoverwhelmedwithgratitude,andasIhuggedmyrescuer,Irealizedthatsometimesit’sokaytoadmitwhenweneedhelp.（情感描寫）It’sokaytobeafraid,andit’sokaytoleanonotherswhenwe’refeelingunsure.Onmydrivehome,Icouldn’tstopthinkingabouttherockwall.Ithadbeenasymbolofmyownself-doubtandfear,butIhadconqueredit.（心理描寫）IfeltlikeIhadanewfootholdinlife,anewsenseofconfidencethatIcouldtakeonwhateverchallengescamemyway.【導語】本文以人物為線索展開，講述了作者和家人去朋友家聚會，主人準備了可移動的巖石墻，大家都熱情地排著隊攀爬，但是作者找各種借口不去爬，最后在家人的鼓勵下，終于鼓足勇氣爬上去了，看到了遠處的另一個世界，非常開心?！驹斀狻?.段落續(xù)寫：①由第一段首句內(nèi)容“從遠處看世界是一回事，但向下看完全是另一回事?！笨芍?，第一段可描寫作者想下去的時候往下看非常害怕，最后在其他人的幫助下往下爬。②由第二段首句內(nèi)容“最后，我們兩個到了地面。”可知，第二段可描寫作者最后爬下來，感激救命恩人并對此事進行感悟。續(xù)寫線索：害怕下去——其他人幫助——穩(wěn)穩(wěn)下來——感激恩人——感悟詞匯激活行為類吸氣：takeabreath/breathein考慮：thinkabout/thinkover/consider情緒類友好的：friendly/amicable/kind感激地：withgratitude/gratefully[高分句型1]Closingmyeyesandtakingadeepbreath,Itriedtocalmmyselfdown.我閉上眼睛，深呼吸，試圖讓自己冷靜下來（本句屬于外貌神態(tài)描寫，并且運用了現(xiàn)在分詞作狀語）[高分句型2]Iturnedtoseeafriendlyface,someoneIhadonlymetbrieflybefore,butwhohadclearlyseenmydistressandcometomyaid.我轉(zhuǎn)過身來，看到一張友好的臉，我以前只見過一次，但他清楚地看到了我的痛苦，并來幫助我。（本句屬于細節(jié)描寫，并含有省略關系代詞的限制性定語從句）[高分句型3]IfeltlikeIhadanewfootholdinlife,anewsenseofconfidencethatIcouldtakeonwhateverchallengescamemyway.我覺得我在生活中有了一個新的立足點，一種新的信心，我可以接受我遇到的任何挑戰(zhàn)。（本句屬于結(jié)尾升華句子，運用賓語從句和that連接的同位語從句）【真題感悟】（2020年浙江卷6月）閱讀下面短文，根據(jù)所給情節(jié)進行續(xù)寫，使之構(gòu)成一個完整的故事。Onefall,mywifeElliandIhadasinglegoal:tophotographpolarbears.Wewerestayingataresearchcampoutside“thepolarbearcapitaloftheworld”-thetownofChurchillinManitoba,Canada.Takingpicturesofpolarbearsisamazingbutalsodangerous.Polarbears-likeallwildanimalsshouldbephotographedfromasafedistance.WhenI'mfacetofacewithapolarbear,Ilikeittobethroughacamerawithatelephotolens.Butsometimes，thatiseasiersaidthandone.Thiswasoneofthosetimes.AsElliandIcookeddinner,ayoungmalepolarbearwhowasplayinginanearbylakesniffed,andsmelledourgarlicbread.Thehungrybearfollowedhisnosetoourcamp,whichwassurroundedbyahighwirefence.Hepulledandbitthewire.Hestoodonhisbacklegsandpushedatthewoodenfenceposts.Terrified,ElliandItriedallthebeardefenseactionsweknew.Weyelledatthebear,hitpotshard，andfiredblankshotgunshellsintotheair.Sometimesloudnoiseslikethesewillscarebearsoff.Notthispolarbearthough-hejustkepttryingtoteardownthefencewithhismassivepaws(爪子).Iradioedthecampmanagerforhelp.Hetoldmeahelicopterwasonitsway,butitwouldbe30minutesbeforeitarrived.Makingthebestofthiscloseencounter(相遇),Itooksomepicturesofthebear.ElliandIfearedthefencewouldn’tlastthrough30moreminutesofthebear'spunishment.ThecampmanagersuggestedIusepepperspray.Thesprayburnsthebears’eyes,butdoesn'thurtthem.SoIapproachedouruninvitedguestslowlyand，throughthefence,sprayedhimintheface.Withanangryroar(吼叫),thebearrantothelaketowashhiseyes.注意:1.所續(xù)寫短文的詞數(shù)應為150左右；2.至少使用5個短文中標有下劃線的關鍵詞語；3.續(xù)寫部分分為兩段，每段的開頭語已為你寫好；4.續(xù)寫完成后，請用下劃線標出你所使用的關鍵詞語。Paragraph1:Afewminuteslater,thebearheadedbacktoourcamp.________________________________________________________________________________________________________Paragraph2:Atthatverymoment,thehelicopterarrived._______________________________________________________________________________________________________【答案】Afewminuteslater,thebearheadedbacktoourcamp,thenwerealizedthesprayhadonlyangeredhimevenmore,forheseemedmuchfiercerthistimeandviolentlypushedthefencelikemad.Myheartracedwildly,notknowingwhattodo.Atthiscriticalmoment,Elligrabbedseveralpiecesofgarlicbreadandthrewthemoverthefence.Itworked!Thebearstoppedtheattackandrantothebread.Butitwasn’tlongbeforeheeatupallthebreadandcamebackagain.Atthatverymoment,thehelicopterarrive